11/08/2012
The day when I lost the most important woman in my life. My Grandmother.
The day when I just wanted to go back home in the
Philippines and see her for the last time.
The day when I asked the Lord, ‘WHY?’
The day when I wished that it was all just a DREAM.
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| The coolest Lola evuuurrrr! |
When I heard from my Mum that Lola passed away, my first
reaction was to go home immediately but I know it’s not possible because I
still have an exam due the following week. I went to the Church that afternoon
and I couldn’t help myself not to cry for so many reasons. First, why did it
have to happen when I am so far away from them? Second, I was so helpless.
Lastly, why didn’t she wait for me to come back home? At that very moment, I
was asking the Lord so many things… so many WHY’s.
07/07/2011
The day I left for Australia to study.
When I decided to leave for Australia, it was all because of
Lola. It was all because of me wanting her to be proud of me. I wanted to
reciprocate everything she has given me and my family ever since we were born.
Never had it occurred to me that this date will be my last
day of seeing her… my Lola. NEVER.
During my stay in Australia, while I was studying I found
myself a job as a Housekeeper in aged care institution in which a few months
after I also became a Personal Carer. Ironic isn’t it?
Whenever I do facetime with my family, I always tell Lola
what my work’s all about. Such thing as washing the dishes, cleaning 20 plus
rooms, caring for the elderly… and I always found her smiling and telling me
‘Kaya mo lahat yun?’
In my one year and 2 months stay in Australia, I missed a
lot of occasions such as her 91st birthday, Christmas, New Year,
Bisita Iglesia and so much more… her lasts. Remembering all of these, I
couldn’t help not to feel sad for not being there on those special occasions…
with her.
As of now, I will admit that I am so jealous of all the
people who had a chance of being with her on her last year.
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I
only had Facetime and Skype to stay connected to her during her last year.
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Dear Lola,
Thank you for everything! Thank you for letting us be your FAMILY.
Thank you for being our provider. Thank you for being a good mother to Mummy…
for taking care of her… for loving her as your own.
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| Thank you for the love and care you gave to Mum :) |
Thank you for sacrificing a lot of things just for us. Thank
you for letting Kuya and I study in a good school. Thank you for pushing me to
study Nursing… now I know that you just wanted me to become successful in life.
Thank you for the good life you have shared with all of us. Thank you for
giving me the chance to go to Australia and study even if I know that it cost a
big amount of money. Thank you for being my Lola! Thank you for your kindness
and patience. You are the best and even
if you are now in heaven, don’t forget that I will forever love you.
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| You are the best Lola/Mom for Kuya and I :) |
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| You helped me be who I am today. |
Sorry for not being there with you during your last days.
Sorry for not being able to take care of you while I was taking care of other
elderly in Australia. Sorry for still not being able to accept that you’re
gone… In time, I know.
You lived a full life, Lola. You helped a lot of people
without asking anything in return. Some people may have hurt and treated you
unkindly but still, you were always there for them and even gave your
forgiveness and I know that the Lord is very proud of you.
You had been a good daughter, a sister, an Aunt, a friend, a
dressmaker, a leader to your workers, a provider; but for us… your family… you
were a mother and a grandmother…. You gave us everything… from the simple
things to big things but most especially you gave us FAMILY; because you never
failed to show us that we are your family even if we’re not related by blood. If I
think about what I learned in my life, then the first thing that pops to my
mind is the sentence ‘blood is not thicker than water… LOVE is’.
It
is not flesh and blood but the heart which makes us a Family.
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| Thank you, Lord for giving Lola 91 years of good life. |
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| Lola's super talent :) |
I will miss you forever, Lola Chita. I will miss sleeping
beside you and smelling your Katinko every night. I will miss holding your hands. I will
miss your smile. I will miss your kasungitan and mood swings. Thank you for all
the memories you shared with all of us. I thank the Lord for giving me the Best
Lola in the whole world. No amount of money or treasures is nearly more
important than YOU. If only I could trade one day or anything just to see you, to hug you,
to kiss you and to tell how much I LOVE YOU… then I will surely and positively
do.
I will not forget the last words you told me during our last convo just few days before you left us... 'Wag mo isipin mga sasabihin nila. Gawin mo yung gusto mo. Susuportahan kita.' (Don't think of what others might say just do what you want to do. I will support you). Those words.... they made me cry. And when she heard that I was crying 'O bakit siya umiiyak?' Until the end, she just wanted the best for me.
So, if you still have your grandparents with you… treasure
them, care for them, be kind to them, RESPECT them, hug and kiss them everyday (one
of the things I wish I had been given a chance of doing) and lastly, LOVE them
no matter how kulit, demented or whatever they may be because you never know
when’s their last day.
Lola, you’ll forever be in our hearts and prayers. I will
wait for the day when we can be together again and have our endless kwentuhan
about your favorite teleseryes and anything under the sun J but as for now, I
shall be seeing you in my dreams and NO GOODBYES just see you later, my Lola
dear.
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| I think I got her love of travel :) |
I LOVE YOU.
WE LOVE AND WE'LL MISS YOU.
WE LOVE AND WE'LL MISS YOU.
Enjoy your new home with the LORD. J
Missing and still
crying over you,
Kay-Ann
